Friday, June 24, 2011

First Page Critique -- Blog-Fest

Hello Everyone,

      This post is in response to the First Page Critique Blog-fest, held on Shelly Watters blog. The rules of the blog-fest are simple:

  • Post the first 250 words from your work. The work must be complete.
  • Your work must fall into one of the following genres: YA, Middle Grade, memoir, pop-culture non-fiction, and women’s commercial fiction.

Without any more delay, here is my Entry!!

Title Of Book: 3 things about my Facebook!!
Genre: Young Adult
First 250 words:
  My world was a sweet dream. I was the luckiest man on earth for I got to know whom I love the most. I had a father who loves money more than anything. I had a job that pays me about $200 at a young age of 19. I was confident that I could win the heart of my princess, become rich, become popular and of course famous. And I had ample dreams of becoming a huge, successful author.

       On the fateful morning of Dec 4, the princess of my world, Ms. Ammu, invited me to her home for a get-together. Well everything went well I hope. We all had fun, enjoyed together and had delicious lunch. I was introduced to a young lad that day. Mr. Vinay, Ammu's Boyfriend. Well, I understood
what Harry Potter meant by my internals are filled with lead that very moment. I didn't know what to do then. I also had to hear their story with a smile on my face. A 70mm smile which came from depths of heart.

       Well, I at least understood how outdated I am. How remote I have become from my own, one time classmates. I couldn't answer the questions like "What am I?" & "What the hell I am gonna do now?" Could I move on? Is this what is called as break-up? Isn't this the catastrophe of the century? Half my colleagues were ready to round up Vinay and kick the hell out of him.."


    What do you feel the book is about?? In one sentence, the book is   "Story of outdated young man, who joins facebook, to find out his true inner self, socialize with everyone and come out of depression  but ends up gaining new friends, enjoying random dates, doing adventures, losing quite a few friends and closing the facebook for winning his true new found love"

    I just dunno, if you would like it or not!!! But, I am planning to publish the same soon!! On a blog!! Will let you know as soon as I am done!!

with warm regards
Abhishek Boinapalli


Anonymous said...

Good luck with publishing =) I am trying to get together at least 250 poems recent ones and try to get published myself!

Tami Absi said...

You know your character well. You've built his world, and you obviously have a story to tell!

Show, don't tell. You begin by telling your readers about the character instead of showing your readers the character. (Look at the first few pages of Harry Potter. Rowling didn't tell us about Harry. She showed us his world. He lived under the stairs. (How sad.) We felt his pain without ever being told he was hurting.)

This needs more flesh on the character and imagery in the scenes. Let your readers know where they are and who they're with. Then let me smell what he smells and feel what he feels. Good luck, and keep writing.

Abhishek said...

@Tami Absi,

thanks a million for your opinion!! My novel is story of this character, as told by himself!! In simple words, the first few pages are prologue and can't be changed I guess!!

Let me check out!! Thanks again!!

Abhishek said...

@ Deirdra Eden-Coppel,

thanks a million for your award!! Alas, you already gave it to me!! long long back!!

Regarding the interview!! I am happy to participate!! Sent you a PM!!

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